So yesterday I felt aweful, but then realised that I missed my childhood due to the fact of always hating myself, always ignoring and erasing myself.
I missed living my childhood, which is now gone and impossible to retrieve.
There is a time for realising things, a time to be sad about it, and another one to stop feeling sorry and actually do something about it.
Yesterday I realised what I want : I want to be a psychologist to help people to never feel the way I felt my entire life. Because this is no life.
And I will for sure not be one those “mmh mmh” psychologists or label-applier-drug-dealer psychiatrists.
How will I manage to focus on music and study? Do I want to be a psychologist or a musician? I don’t know. We’ll see. I believe I’ll find a way to mix both or one will serve the other. But both are important to me now.