This title is very very ironical.
There are so many people who will tell you how things should be done while they actually do not do it themselves.
(disclaimer : I love my parents)
As a child I have always been free. Our parents willingly let us do what we wanted which was their philosophy. They provided and loved us in their own ways. So I grew up with a pretty opened and awate mind, with wild imagination thinking that I could do anything, and I did. Saying no to any things I wouldn’t like always made my mother call me “strong-headed” as if it was a bad thing but today I think it is actually what saved me from being miserable.
My dad always wanted me to apply for X-Factor, The Voice and all those kind of TV Shows.
He has always been disappointed about me not applying (and will never do it until you guys make me famous) and always thought I didn’t want to watch those shows because I was jealous of the participants. This really hurt me because it was not the case at all.
(I couldn’t and can’t stand to see talented people being jerked on -and I can’t minimize my opinion about this- by TV productions.)
My dad always knew and still knows better than me regarding the music industry. Right? And I would always feel bad about me disappointing him all the time. But why wouldn’t I do what he thought was the best thing to do then? I followed and still follow my guts. My guts told me about those shows not only being wrong but also lethal.
I am a musician but this is valid for any other artist :
Follow your instincts. Unapologetically.
What is good for someone can be really bad for you because we do not have all the same aspirations even if we do the same things.
Another exemple was when I was at this Life
Drawing class in Angel in London, UK organised by Candid Art (it’s really really nice though). The guy who organised the event that day kept on walking around to see our creations being made and he kept on checking mine. Don’t get me wrong he is a nice guy but the comparison I’m about to make is unfortunately the most accurate I can do.
He kept on coming and telling me that “it is good, but” I should try to do “this and that”. Of course here, “should” is used as an imperative. And as always, I didn’t listen because I knew this was not what I wanted to do. He came a forth time, because the third wasn’t enough, to finally tell me “please me just for once, and try it like this”. I started feeling bad and ambushed because he would come back so I tried to do whatever the f. he wanted me to do. Then it started, all my Mojo left. I was torn between anger and sadness.
I felt the exact same atrocious way I felt when I was sexually assaulted in a bus back from school.
Anger, sadness, filthy and trampled on.
I took my paper, creased it, reached for the bin, tossed the work, smiled and left.
I wanted to scream at him, and tell him it was his fault (I am minimizing everything here).
But I was the one holding the pencil.
This day confirmed and taught me a lot of things. I hate the “Should haves” but that day I should have done whatever I wanted to do regardless risking an interaction with him. At the end of the day no drawing was made, nobody was pleased, only disappointed.
And if it pleases other people it is a bonus. Now I think that if anybody tells you how you should be, you’re worthy enough to risk any fight to keep yourself from being anything else than who you are. People will trample on you unapologetically, so you can allow yourself to unapologetically do you.
There is a huge, yet intangible, difference between point of view tyranny and actual advice. It is always good to hear what people have to say. Art is made by the artist but lives through the audience. If someone doesn’t tell me how something has to/should be then I should hear them and put the advice in a box to consider it afterwards because an advice can make the art evolve.
But what is an advice?
To me, an advice would be something that adds another thing to the logic of my art. It is not something that tries to fold it into something else.
Art like music, painting and literature as abstract as they can be, have patterns and someone who recognizes the patterns can only give a good advice.
What do you think?
*nts : note to self